I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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