absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
