im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
