At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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