Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
