I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
