you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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