I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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