are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
