i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize