belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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