I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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