my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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