im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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