i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
