the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
