Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
