The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
