Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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