yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
