I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
