My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
