Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
