What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
