check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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