One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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