Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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