I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
