I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize