Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize