...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
