Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
