Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
