so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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