ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
