Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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