Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
