In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
