come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
