So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
