So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
