dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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