I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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