I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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