I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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