He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
