After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
