Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
