We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
