Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
