Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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