I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
