We won't sleep together?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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