You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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