toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
