Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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