no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
