I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
