dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize