wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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