I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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