talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
