no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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