i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
